Blood Sugar War

I have long tried to have the kind of blood sugar my doctors are looking for, whenever I have an appointment.  I guess I am still the young woman, afraid of being judged.  Now, I know that the doctor and nurses I’m seeing are not judgmental people;  several of them are diabetics, in fact, and they have a very personal understanding of all of the ins and outs of diabetes.

Sadly, though, I still have not been able to get through to a single one of them.  They don’t listen to my stories about fighting low blood sugars; they continue to insist that I hold myself to a standard (blood sugars of 70-110) which I have quite clearly refused to follow.  When I ask for a reason, it is always the same.  “I don’t want you to have side effects.”  Okay, so that’s the party line, isn’t it.   But I have experienced myriad side effects already, due to my neglect of my blood sugars.  I am unwilling, at this point, to aim for a blood sugar which is so close to being too low, in order to make up for all those high numbers, when 150-180 is an exponential improvement over my past levels, and a number I can live with.

Do I relent on this situation?  I do not see how I can.  Why do I insist on maintaining this position?  I have only just come alive, and I want to live forever, but in the years I do have left, I am going to be happy; not always straining for that lower number, and being unhappy when I don’t get to it.  I refuse to live the rest of my life that way.

The number I’m aiming for now is not only one I can live with, but one I can actually maintain, if I am not busy trying to reach that lower number.  If anyone had told me, years ago, that I would be arguing for my doctor agreeing to let me maintain a 150-180 average, I would have said they were crazy!

So, unlike my old self, I am going to stand firm against what my doctor’s office is saying.  I will not purposely avoid having lower blood sugars, in the 90s and 100s, but my goal is 150, and I’m done arguing.  My choice — doctors are not gods, which is how I used to treat them.  They work for me, and I have made up my mind.


12 responses to “Blood Sugar War

  1. Defintiely go for the quality of life….not quantity of numbers. I fought that a long time too (and still do at times). I have Type I diabetes and I do best when I am to keep my blood sugars in the mornings between 100 and 130. I dread going lower because it’s way to scary going below 70. I’ve had a couple 40s and that is not fun. I try to keep around the 150 – 175 average. Fortunately my doctor doesn’t assume I should be keeping non-diabetic numbers. And yes, they will fluctuate from this…but that’s life.

    • You know, I’d like to see some of these doctors manage their own blood sugar for a week or so. I remember my friend was talking with her doctor, and the doctor said, “Well, you know, it’s important to keep your blood sugar around 100,” to which my friend said, “Wouldn’t it be nice if there was an organ in the body that would actually take care of that?” The doctor didn’t get what she was saying, so she found another doctor. I didn’t realize you have diabetes — good for you if your fasting BS is 100-130; I don’t think anyone could ask you for more!

  2. I understand what you are saying. Staying level, even if that level is somewhat elevated beats the yo-yo for an average on your daily functioning. I buy it.

    • When I had the undiagnosed adrenal dysfunction problem, my blood sugars would drop into the 20s, and I’d never feel it coming, so I usually passed out wherever I was. Ever since, I’ve had to add nausea and vomiting to my list of symptoms for any sugar under 95. I’d much rather shoot for the number I can reach. As I said, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life, struggling, barfing, and hating everything, when I can be happy now.

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