For most of my life, I could dream up new ideas with the best. I had a soaring imagination, and knowledge enough to come up thinking interesting thoughts. Even when I was young, I disarmed a couple of teachers by presenting something unusual, something different. A new way to interpret a poem, a better way to decorate a cake. I could think, and I could dream.
But I could not, or would not, do. I lacked an important feature, necessary when speaking of ideas — the ability, or the willingness, or the audacity, or even just the strength of personal fiber to take action on my ideas. I would think of something so grand, so different, but also so possible, but I usually didn’t go anywhere with it. It felt a little like me holding tight to this new action, in order that no one else steal it. Very, very wasteful.
And then, as if I hadn’t missed enough chances, I insisted on being stoned, or on drinking, or on the depression which accompanied me throughout my life, to block movement toward an idea.. I became very skilled at finding excuses not to act. I practiced some of them so regularly that I began to believe. This was one area where negative self-talk became part of my mindset, even though I was using it to accomplish what I thought I wanted. Not anything I’m particularly proud of, or remembering fondly.
I am changing my ways to incorporate my new self-respect, and my respect of others. So, the blog, and the book-to-be, are both exercises in carrying out an idea I first declared decades ago, that is, to write, an actual part of my life.
I have gained self-confidence, and I am doing something about it. This may be the first time I’ve committed to something, and then actually done it. It certainly seems to me the most significant.
I intend to go on coming up with ideas, but not necessarily plans that would apply to everyone. I can’t swing that, anymore.
I have determined to give up trying to imagine for the larger world, and to concentrate on myself and my place in the Cosmos. As Don Miguel Ruiz says:
Without action on an idea, there will be no manifestation, no results, and no reward.
You inspire me! You must also inspire others. thank you,,,,,,,,
You are so very, very welcome!
You have to start somewhere and this is a great way to start!
Nancy
Change is the only constant in life. You sound good!
Thanks — I feel good! And yes, change is the one changing thing that never changes! 😎 Bed time for this kid — thanks for your lovely comment.