Losing a battle with the Law of Attraction

“Whatever you’re thinking about is literally like planning a future event. When you’re worrying, you are planning. When you’re appreciating you are planning…What are you planning?”— Abraham

  • Excerpted from the workshop in Silver Spring, MD, on Saturday, April 19th, 1997 # 440

Here is a concise, complete way of explaining the Law of Attraction.  We all plan, don’t we?  We plan our day, we plan our kids’ schedules, we plan time with our friends.  We don’t all that often plan for negative events; or so we think, anyway.

In the above quote, Abraham is telling us once again, that the concepts and truths our mind believes, on which we concentrate, we are calling into our lives.  Not just the events or feelings on which we choose to concentrate — if that were the case, bonus for us!  But, as he says above, when we are worrying, we are planning as well.  If we are angry, we are planning more anger, even though anger is an emotion we’d never ask for, (I should say, I’d never ask for.)  By spending our time and energy being angry, or sad, or lonely, or dreading some upcoming event, we are choosing the result in which we feel more of the same, do more, fret more, dread more.

So the trick is to, in the words of a song I remember my mom singing to me, a million years ago, “Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative…”  If this is the case, I started down a sad path today, because all I have felt is sadness, and worthlessness, and guilt.  I’ve spent most of the day, in fact, concentrating on this one negative which looms so large in my life; of course, I am calling for more of the same from the Universe.

For me, one facet of this unanswerable guilt is that, no matter how hard I try, no matter how gut-wrenchingly honest I want to be, I face complications in this particular area of my life about which I cannot write.  Hence, at a time when I’d be most helped by looking at the positive, or a positive somewhere in this, the underlying feelings don’t leave room for me to step forward with anything resembling encouragement.  I am in the situation I wrote about yesterday — If I can’t concentrate on feeling positive, I can at least commend myself for something.

Except that I can’t.

So now what?  Now I’m going to sleep.  Tomorrow the maintenance guys will be here — I cringe at the thought of them coming in here, but I do know that some of these guys have seen me a lot worse.  I’m thinking I might not get an eviction notice, which I’ve feared every time this happens.  And I’ve been doing so well — starting once again with a clean house on Monday, thanks to my helper, S., I’ve been very aware of how much better I feel, and I work much harder to maintain an orderly environment around me.  It’s been a couple of weeks since this apartment was last not only presentable, but nice enough for me to be bolstered by my surroundings– if I’ve fallen apart this easily on this, how in the world can I expect other vital improvements I’ve made not to fall by the same wayside?

This is the crappiest post — my apologies, but I can’t write anything upbeat today.  Tomorrow, I’ll get up, shower, fix my makeup, wear something nice to work; that might be the jump-start I need to overcome this sadness, and the anger I’m feeling, which I guess I’ve turned on myself.  Anyway, right now I’m anticipating, (or as Abraham would say, calling for, a miserable night.  But why would I think that was any different from all those other nights?


One response to “Losing a battle with the Law of Attraction

  1. Pingback: Not too miserable, not too happy — content | Diabetic Redemption

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