I tried. I tried to give K., (from last year,) one more chance. I hoped he would be involved. My rules and boundaries I believed were sufficient.
I should have known. After a day and a half, he told me, “I’ve loved you since the ninth grade,” as he said four times before. Did I need to fail? Seriously! I was happily in love with K. again; I re-entered the shredder. Book smart does not equal common sense. He promised that we would go out, three or four times a week. We ate at the local burger joint, and then I was back in his arms, where I find I fit well.
That was a week ago Wednesday. I haven’t seen him since. He always tells me of his love over the phone, but in the afternoon, about five o’clock, he wants to climb into his comfy clothes, and hang out at home. Yesterday, I asked him to sit down with me and talk, but when the time came, he said a phone call was enough. That one put the nail in the coffin.
Blah, Blah,Blah. I said we were unsuited to be a couple — both of us wanted who the other isn’t. He was quiet for the first five minutes, until I said I would wait now to hear what he had to say. After a minute, he said, “if that’s what you want.” I clenched my teeth, and told him that what I want had nothing to do with why I was cutting us off. Well, it did, of course, but K. was implying that I wanted to break up for a much bitchier reason.
I will likely go back and condense this story. I’ve learned I am still desperate for romance. I thought I’d gotten past that. I didn’t wait for months to end this, like before. I am proud of myself for being proactive. This may be the first time I have set a boundary without being hurt, or feeling disloyal.
So, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries are my target now. I never knew, as a child, as a teenager, as a college student, as a single adult, as a married adult, and right up to last week, how very necessary boundaries are. I succeeded once in drawing the line, yesterday, and I will succeed again. I am content — the Law of Attraction. I believe that wholly — I believe it holy, as well.