The Bathroom Lament

This poem is dedicated to my friend, D., who encourages me to change up the genre, and write poetry in words we speak now.  Thanks, D.


Oh, Lord, what should I do

To clean my butt of poo?

Someone forgot to leave

T.P., should I use my sleeve?

My panties would suffice,

But then they won’t be nice.

I’d like to kill the dude;

That bastard, so damn rude.

If I could find him now,

I’d take aim and Ker-pow!!

I’d trample his remains;

And hope to see his chains

In hell, if I could look.

I’d watch his damned soul cook!


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