On January 27, 2012 — which seems like an age ago — I wrote a post on Ten Ways to Win my Heart. Since that was six months ago yesterday, I decided to write a revised version. Some of the bullets will be the same, and some will be quite different. Here goes:
- Love me. Just love me. I have been “loved” because I’m smart, because I would give out with no long persuasion, because I had a steady job, because my low sense of self-worth made me want to marry him, because I was desperate, because I was kind. On and on. What I am hoping for is someone who loves me because I am who and what I am.
- Show me that you enjoy being with me. I’m not looking for anything extravagant; talk to me when we go out to dinner, don’t make me feel like I have to drag every word out of you. I’m not saying that someone who doesn’t meet these requirements can’t be my love, only that he will need this quality for us to be a couple.
- Still really love cats.
- Please be honest with me. It doesn’t matter the situation. As long as I know you will be honest, and I know that I will, we have a good chance of being the happiest people alive.
- Tell me that, if I have medical problems, that you will stay with me. And mean it. Because I may have problems. I don’t think they will be half as bad as they could have been, a couple of years ago, but, please, tell me if you can’t. I will understand completely — I’ve had to live with me during the course my medical life; I’m certainly not always fun to be with.
- Love to travel — adventures are fine, whether they are 5,000 miles away, or 50. I know gas is a problem these days — let’s take a train to Boston. I’ve still not been on a train in this country.
- Please understand that, while I love sex, I am more interested in the process than in the outcome. So to speak! 😎 Not for you, but for me. There may be times when I would rather be held. Please don’t feel we need to go anywhere else for me, unless I tell you.
- Please understand that I may not want to live with you — I am the one who more often initiated that plan, but I have learned, over this last decade, that I love having my own space. Sleepovers would be great, once in a while; but no roommates.
- Be willing to spend some time around my family. We’re a weird bunch, but then, whose family isn’t?
- This is the most important wish on the list, and in my heart. Please understand that this list is still in flux, and I may feel very differently in the future. Ask me at the time, and I’ll tell you where I stand.
Now that I’ve written this list, I see it isn’t a whole lot different from my January list after all. I guess I’m more rooted in my desires than I thought I was.