Right now, Right now, Right now!

Right now, Right now, Right now!

An interesting affirmation from Abraham Hicks today:

Your life is right now! It’s not later! It’s not in that time of retirement. It’s not when the lover gets here. It’s not when you’ve moved into the new house. It’s not when you get the better job. Your life is right now. It will always be right now. You might as well decide to start enjoying your life right now, because it’s not ever going to get better than right now—until it gets better right now!

— Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Silver Spring, MD on Saturday, May 11th, 2002 # 502

So, I think Abraham is serious about us only having right now!  I never did understand that.  For years, I was waiting to die at 40.  Then for another decade, I was waiting for my (so I thought — no longer!) inevitable complications of diabetes.  Only within the last couple of years have I come to understand and appreciate today, regardless of my circumstance, as a gift to be treasured.

Now, I’m not saying that I don’t ever feel bad, or that I am always completely appreciative every day.  As we have all learned, thank the Cosmos, I am not perfect.  But I spend day after day just being happily present in my own life, in a way I never could before.  I am not waiting for anyone or anything, nor am I regretting, either.  What sad misuse of time either of those feelings was for me.

When I was in high school, I was practically panting to get to college.  When I was in college, I so looked forward to being out of college.  When I was in love, I waited and waited to be engaged; when I was engaged, I was in an all-fired hurry to get married, sure that whoever I loved would lose interest if I waited around too long.  How scary is that?  That fear is what has governed all of my relationship life.  I was waiting for the hammer to fall, and hoping that I would be loved enough to make the painful, tearful end worth it.

So I was anticipating or dreading every coming day in my life, even the good days, and I was regretting every past day I could not change.  They always felt false, as if I mistrusted them.  Really, I mistrusted myself.  I felt, until very recently, I was somehow doomed, and that I had no reason to celebrate the day, because the next day had such potential for trouble and heartache and disease and despair.  Those things were often absent, but the idea that they could be present made me feel far too vulnerable.

I have seen a picture of myself, from around 1995, in which I look happy.  If I remember that day, I was happy — in fact, very happy indeed.  But even on a day like that one, in the back of my mind was the surety that I faced no happy future.

Now, I’m happy, but in a very different way.  I  learned to enjoy when and where I am.  I have stopped trying to see the future; all I do that way is to scare myself.  I have ended my regrets over past events; all I ever got from regret was sadness,  and despair.  I wanted to be perfect, couldn’t even be normal, and always expected to be less than anyone I knew.  What a sad, sorry way to live. I’m glad that’s done.

Abraham tells us that we can have joy, can en-joy our lives right now; swallow the joy, breathe it in, use it to paint our skin and color our toes — all with joy.  Because joy right now will attract more joy, and who doesn’t need more joy?  I think  happiness, positivity, and joy will come to me, because I am no longer afraid to let today be today.  By accepting my right now, I can lose fear, sadness, and despair; if I remember to appreciate being alive, my life will become a constant celebration.  This, I believe, can happen for everyone.

This exercise helped me, as I was learning how to appreciate my right now:

Each morning, I stood in front of a mirror, and found something positive in what I saw.  Not just backward negatives, either, as in, “I am glad I don’t use that green eyeshadow anymore; it made me look like a zombie.”  No, find the positive:  “I am so glad I switched to brown eyeshadow; it accents the green of my eyes.”

By acknowledging that one good part of me, right then, I invited positivity to make itself comfortable within me.  And that builds on itself, as I have seen.  I believe in the Law of Attraction:  like calls unto like.  My happiness called to me more happiness.  A spiral of goodness and joy and appreciation.  That is a very good time and place for me to be.

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