Taking aim

From Abraham Hicks‘ daily affirmations:

Wherever you are, is just fine…You can get to wherever you want to be from wherever you are… It’s time to stop measuring where you are in relationship to where anybody else is. The only factor that has anything to do with you is where you are in relationship with where you want to be.

— Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Asheville, NC on Saturday, October 25th, 2003 # 596

How often do we humans compare ourselves with others?  Simply in the course of my own day, I come up against both of the two different possibilities:  Either I overestimate myself, or more often disparage myself, when I hold myself open to my own comparisons with others.  I know I am always quick to measure myself as too dumb, stupid, crazy, ugly, sick, in contrast with those others.  Negative self-talk, a way we communicate our fears and insecurities to our own brains and hearts.

Target my personal goal
Image courtesy: smartstressmanagement.com

While in high school, I felt as though I locked horns with my French Horn-playing peers around the state.  I felt insecure, especially in my Junior and Senior years, because that was the time I began to notice that my lack of practice showed very clearly in my playing.  This would seem like the perfect time to start practicing every day, wouldn’t it?  Instead, I resented others who were working so hard, even though what they were doing was not my business at all. In high school, I got to a high degree of competence with the horn — I was fortunate enough to be born with native talents.  When I got to college, and I was expected to work hard and learn to play the horn with more skill, I quit.  I felt insulted by every single French Horn player at the school, and decided to drop music, rather than admit that I’d been coasting for so long.

That situation was one in which my comparison of myself with others left two paths – the narrow path of swallowing my pride and learning to play the right way, or the broad road of quitting, rather than accepting that I didn’t know everything there was to know about the horn.  Do I remember much about the good things that happened to me as a result of playing?  I experienced some very good times in my band travels and performances.  Would that I could just remember those feelings, without the black mark of my angry withdrawal.

I have outgrown much of the need to compare myself with others — I understand that what I feel about their successes and challenges is wasted emotion.  My aimed focus is myself, and if I miss that goal, I can find my way back.  I value myself; the sick, sad parts of me and the happy, successful parts of me are equal.  Through Dream Team,

Impossible becomes Possible
Image courtesy: theamazing39stonecyclist@wordpress.com

I’ve learned the most important lesson I remember in the last couple of decades of my life:  My goals are important and valuable to me, and my job is to work toward the goals I outline for myself.  I have friends who encourage me to continue in my difficult work toward my goal, and I reciprocate with love and support when each of these ladies struggles to her goal.

Before the onset of Dream Team, I moved consistently away from the direction of self in everyday life; since Dream Team, I outline goals very important to me, and I set down the steps and tiny micro-steps for the accomplishment of that goal.  When I started in Dream Team, I had that same old reaction — everybody is going to come out better than me.  With their love and self-knowledge, my friends coached me into caring about my own target, and taught me that I could encourage others without interfering with their dreams, just as they did for me.

Sticking to my own business does not cut me off from others.  The resentful sadness did that.  Attending to my own needs and believing my goals are worthwhile is my super-power — I love my broken, crazy self, and so I can love others for who they are.

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6 responses to “Taking aim

  1. Pingback: Judith Atwood passes on an article that can be of immense value to anyone who suffers from “negative comparisons”…:) « Thomas Rydder

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