Getting Back (to where I again belong)

Crystals.

Hmmmmmm.

I believe that some crystals emit and transmit certain benefits.

Serpentine aids diabetics and heart patientsImage courtesy:
crystalsandjewelry.com

Serpentine aids diabetics and heart patients
Image courtesy:
crystalsandjewelry.com

For a long time, when I first came here, I collected them.  But part of me, as yet uninformed about the lack of importance I needed to place on other people’s feelings, began to feel bothered by the rolling eyes of people in my larger community.  I became focused on keeping that part of my life private, but now I know that I felt as out of touch and uneducated as people assumed me to be.  I allowed the derisive reactions of so many acquaintances to discourage me from practicing a discipline I knew benefitted me, and eventually I simply stopped. I hope…I believe I am past that kind of sensitivity.  I know that I am far enough past it to clean up my crystals and bless them, and dust and wash the rest of my altar, and devote time to it each day.  I have suddenly developed a green thumb, and I’m keeping two plants alive and healthy.  I guess anything is possible. How much time and energy did I waste, over the course of my life, on being afraid  to hear what others thought?  So often, for no reason but my own insecurity, I was sure that I had mortally embarrassed myself in front of the people with whom I interacted.  Not that they gave me any reason — I believed I saw disapproval in every face, and outright hatred in some; I have always been very good at suspending disbelief.  That’s what makes me love science fiction so much. I wrote about this before — I had to forgive myself for all of the failure, all of the unhappiness and every time I trusted my own feelings of inferiority instead of seeing the world the way it really was — not so great, but also not so bad, either.   I finally understood that person is always really happy, but many of them were content, and I could be as well.  I simply decided that I wanted that too. Life is not a bowl of cherries.  Nor is it a trash can full of pits.  Life is only life; evil spirits and lacy fairies in front of us are the faces we put on our hopes and fears.  For me, the trick of the whole thing was to open my eyes wide enough to see past them. So now I am going to reset my altar, and spend the time I need living my spiritual life.  Including paying attention to my crystals.

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