I just returned home from a “wellness visit,” (i.e. physical,) with my primary care doctor. First time I have gone in and nothing is wrong. In my life. What a nice appointment that was!
Dr. J. told me that I did have Lyme Disease; no need to re-test. He said if the bullseye comes up, I’m positive, though my labs say differently. He is optimistic that, since I did the full course of Doxycycline, I should be cured. That’s what I choose to believe.
There’s an interesting phrase: I CHOOSE to believe. My psychologist introduced me to this concept as regards housekeeping last session. For a review of me and chores, click here. This is an old post, but I felt this same way just a couple of weeks ago. Dr. N., who is the model of a good psychologist, suggested that, when something needs doing, to choose to do it, rather than think I have to do it. A very big change for me. I have only used it a couple of times, but I think I’ll get better with practice.
This attitude is one I first heard from a friend, who decided long ago that she would not fall sick to cancer. I know it sounds unrealistic, but given the other manifestations I have seen her accomplish, I do not doubt that she will live a long life, completely free of cancer, and any other conditions she decides to block out of her future. This same technique was vital in my victory over my life-long depression. I decided to be happy. I have since refined that decision: I am not always happy, but I am content with the ups and downs of my life. Feeling that contentment, believing that the world will work itself out, has brought peace and the ability to appreciate every day, not live in the past, (at all,) or the future, (most of the time.)
Happiness is not necessarily instant — most often it takes dedication and time. But one tiny happy feeling gives overall contentment a place to take hold. This is where the Law of Attraction, from Abraham-Hicks, really operates. When we are feeling depressed, we can try to be happy about one tiny part of ourselves; we open the door for more happiness to enter our lives. My choice was always to be happy if I brushed my teeth that day. Yes, I know how unappealing that sounds, but I meant it, with all my heart. At least I made the effort to brush my teeth. That might lead to combing my hair, or maybe not, but that one little satisfaction always called another tiny happiness to me. Eventually, the bits of satisfaction got a little more substantial, until I could say with all honesty that contentment was a regular part of my life again — a regular part of my life in a way I didn’t know existed.
So days march by, whole days when I would have difficulty remembering how depressed I was. And that is the way I like my life. What is past is past. Unless I have a need to recall those days, of course. But I don’t — not as much today as I did yesterday, anyway. And that is fine with me. The beat goes on….