Ask For What We Want

I reviewed my Four Agreements cards, by Don Miguel Ruiz. recently and, as usually happens, I dropped a few on the floor.  I leaned over and gathered them up, put them back in the deck, and the one on top was exactly the right card for this post.  Here is a new interpretation for one of my favorite cards.  From the Agreement, Don’t Make Assumptions:

Ask For What You Want

Find te courage to ask for wat you want.  Others have the right to tell you yes or no, but you have the right to ask.  Likewise, everybody has the right to ask you for what they want, and you have the right to say yes or no.

I am nearly completely comfortable with this card.  For most of my  life, I  sought the correct answer to my questions. from the people who represented authority over me.  In addition, I heard others’ questions the same way.  All three of my ex-husbands and many of my friends, experienced this from me.  If someone asked me a question, and I didn’t like the honest answer I’d give, I would tell these questioners to ask the right question.  I would become quite angry when anyone refused to change their question to match the answer I believed was correct. Recently, though, I have come to understand questions, and through them connections, that I didn’t pay too much attention to before.  First, I forced myself to learn how to listen to other people; not to be just waiting for them to stop talking so I could hold forth.  (See here)  Next, and this was years later, I made myself tell the truth about my diabetes and lack of control, which led to me correcting a lot of lies in my old spiel.  (See here)  months  Then, after I knew the real truth about myself, and lived with that truth for a few months,I finally forgave myself — I forgave all the dumb, compulsive, self-destructive experiences.  I went on, finally, to believe that I could decide to be contented, to be happy, and to make joy the new basis of my life.  (See here, and dozens of earlier posts.)

I owe my sister, S., a huge debt of gratitude, for listening, sticking with me, and putting up with a lot of crap in the process. (S., you are my  personal avatar of Quan-Yin.  Your compassion for me has not flagged.)  S. introduced me to Abraham-Hicks‘ Law of Attraction, from which I learned  about paying attention to the positive parts of my life, in order to draw more of them to me.  She also gave me the Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, from which I drew today’s subject, from which I have strayed dramatically.  So, back to the question about questions.

I realized that this direction may be applied by me to myself.  I must learn to recognize clearly what I want, and then I will ask myself if what I want is worth doing, or getting, or thinking, (yes,) or I will continue not to trust myself in the way I want to (no.)  I expect that, through this lesson, I’m learning to match what I want with what I need.  I’ll do this better as long as I remember to ask for what I want, and then to decide yes or no as best suits my life of contentment.

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