Death to Life, Fear to Joy

I am way behind Abraham-Hicks’ daily quotes, (follow this link to learn about Abraham.)  I went back a few days, and found this one:

We are not proponents of long life. We are proponents of joyful life, and when you find yourself in joy, the longevity usually follows. Although we do not count the success of a life by its length; we count it by its joy.

— Abraham
Excerpted from the workshop in West Los Angeles, CA on Sunday, March 6th, 2005

Fear (With thanks to theboldabode.com)

Fear
(With thanks to theboldabode.com)

From 1974 to 2010, I obsessed about my longevity, at the cost of nearly everything else.  During that time, I based nearly every decision on one conversation, the one I had with my diabetes-diagnosing physician, who told me, (aged 14,) that I would be dead by 33.  (The link above is only partly true — I haven’t forgiven him; instead, I decided that what he said was not worth worrying about.)  For those 36 years, however, I worried about longevity and mourned every day.  I lived as though I could die at any moment.

As I approached my 50th birthday, I approached a new attitude in my life, one or unbridled, unflagging joy.  I determined to change my story, and my focus, and started seeking a more mindful way of looking at the world.  I noticed, in the car the other day, that I was looking at white pine trees mindfully, and I realized that I think that way much of the time now.  Mindfulness is a direct route to a happier, more joyous life.

Choose joy Image courtesy: idisciple,.org

Choose joy
Image courtesy:
idisciple.org

Recently, I learned from my nephrologist that I may soon need dialysis.  My reaction surprised even me.  I didn’t moan, or cry, or complain.  I told her that when the time came, I would go to dialysis education, but not before.  No need to feed my mind suggestions while I am still doing my best to make that day further down the road.  She seems to understand, and commented on my sense of calm.  I told her that I found trouble when I worried about the future, and that I prefer to live this day, this moment, in full measure, and to concentrate on living a life of joy.

That reaction is the direct opposite of my 1974 curse of death.  I just realized this, as I wrote it.  I live now with intention, not fear or cowardice.  These two physicians represent important bookends in my life — from doom to happiness, from death to life, from fear to joy.  And it only took 39 1/2 years.

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