Touching Base….

Hi to everyone!

I started this post complaining about the food, but that is a lower priority now.

Here I wrote a long, bitchy paragraph about food without salt, but I erased it after talking with my  sister, M.  My safety and my health were the first reasons to think about assisted living, along with isolation,  Those are top priorities,  and I have trouble sometimes remembering them

I decided to concentrate on going home, and not into assisted living — the food here sucks, mostly, and they won’t give a tiny packet of salt, even only once a day.  Breakfast is okay, I guess, (I eliminated eggs all together.)  From there on, none!  I can’t eat much of it, and salt substitute is awful.  On the good side, raw carrots are okay.  Any suggestion would be wonderful, please.

More, but really I wanted to say, “Thank you,” for cards and comments and visits; those mean so much to me.  I’m often too tired to respond, but please remember I love you all, and each contact is so pleasant, I smile for the rest of the day.  Thanks so much!

Please, continue your kind patience with me.  I hope to be feeling better soon, and I am working hard to do that.  My love and greetings to all of you, with hugs for all.

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Hello, again!

Hello, my family of readers and friends, and hello to my birth family as well.

I am far better off  than the last time I wrote.  I  am near completing my time here in the rehab hospital, and have been interviewed  one-time-each by two of local skilled-nursing-facility reps, and my case worker says there will be more.  I’ll b happy to have the choice between many.  The two are 1) Seaside, which is a home on the Back Bay, and 2) St.Joseph’s skilled-nursing facility, which passed state inspections with a higher score in Health Care.  I expect more visitors from other locations, including one from Yarmouth.

My mood is far better than it was this morning.  I continue to remind myself that where I end up will be the right place, and to invite Wisdom into my heart and my choice.  In the meantime, I am still working my butt off, emphasizing on walking, and on regaining strength in my left arm.  Odd to see, I used my left arm and hand far more than I would have known before the stroke, in ordinary motions.  I pedaled on an arm-bike today, and that wore me out, but I am staying awake, so that when my head hits the pillow, I fall asleep.

So, all goes well here, and I hope that is true for all of you .  Thanks for all your comments and support!

Much love to all.

Saturday Gratitude Post 6/7/2014

Welcome to my Saturday Gratitude Post.  Before I begin, I enjoy writing this post almost every week; may I suggest that some of you might enjoy writing a gratitude post weekly.  No rules, no themes.  Simply a post about your life and the blessings you experienced the previous week.

I am grateful for so many blessings, big and small, that touched me this week.  I am feeling very healthy, losing a little weight and, surprisingly, I’m not having difficulty sticking to the renal diet.  As a result, my blood sugars are far better, and I look relatively shapely right now.  I am so grateful that I am fighting myself all the time when I am caring for my body and my health.

Our weather is glorious — bright blue sky in the morning and early afternoon, then clouds and rain in the middle of the day, and finally back to clear skies for the latter part of the day.  Each day like this is a gift, and I spend a lot of time outdoors.  What a treat after such a long winter!

Someone is mowing grass outside, that lovely smell of cut grass blowing into my living room — a smell that, for me, embodies all the glories of summer.

Mom is much more contented, and enjoying an overall sense of good health, though her knees still bother her if she sits too long in the wrong chair.  The rest of the family is doing well; J., my next younger sister, lives with her family just north of San Diego.  The fire doesn’t usually reach their block, but they are close enough to unsettle nerves.  Nevertheless, J. is home with her husband M. and their daughter M., who just finished a successful year in college, and who will be dancing at SeaWorld this summer.

The rest of my family are happy, busy, and enjoying Spring.  My older sister can finally get into the pool, and that must feel like a little slice of heaven.  My brother’s son and daughter  serving  in their respective stations.  S. is at sea, and I wish I was there, too.  I love being on the ocean.  C2. is thriving down in Maryland —  she will be a wonderful doctor/nurse/medic or anything else she pursues. My brother’s oldest daughter is closer to home, trying and outgrowing ever retail job she’s had.  I know that she will decide where she belongs soon — C1 is a strong young woman.  Finally, my sister DB’s younger daughter, left high school after four remarkably interesting years, after several successful theater performances in which she shone.

I start back to work this Wednesday, and I can hardly wait.  Funny how four little hours a week are so important — I look forward to seeing my fellow workers, and all the customers I see at the register.  I am at least strong enough for one day, and that is all I am working this week.  I hope to work two days next week.

Life is good.  D. and I took a big swipe out of the living room last week, disassembling my altar and giving away anything I no longer use.  We cleared off the dining room table and put all of my pump supplies in a big drawer in the kitchen, which I should have done at the very beginning.  What a difference a clean table makes.

My life is so full of joyful goals.  D. and I know the balance we each need for the cruise.  I am not really very close, actually, but I have four more months, which will mean at least $400 in savings.  I saw a program about Belize today, and the teal and aqua water just called to me.  I am practicing patience!

This is only a small section of my Gratitudes list.  I am a very lucky woman indeed.

Progress

Progress.  A worthy goal, for sure.  A reward in itself — say I was trying to lose weight, and actually did.  Not only would that progress be satisfying, but I would feel more encouraged to maintain my goal and the methods I choose to pursue it.

I cannot begin to count the number of times I have pledged to lose weight, changed my eating plan, and jumped to the scales every morning to see if I accomplished anything.  My self-esteem, in fact my entire effort depended on seeing that lower number — a completely ridiculous measure, as I understood, from early in my adult life, that diets don’t work everyday — that there are plateaux any body reaches where the scale may not change for days.  I set myself up to fail, each time, knowing that I was doing so.

Furthermore, I learned, in 1978-79, that weight loss is not a reliable measure of health.  I stopped taking insulin that year, in order to lose weight.  It worked.  In fact, I lost almost 100 pounds.  I thought I looked great — thinner every day; what I didn’t see was the sallow shade of my skin, my skin-and-bones body, my sunken eyes and flat hair.  I came very close to dying at the end of that period, but I started again within weeks of leaving the hospital.  My then-husband, A., gets major credit for stopping me before I went too far.

This story is far back in my past, and of course, no amount of self-flagellation can change it.  I offer this history in contrast to what is happening now.  In the last few weeks, I have pursued better health, rather than a lower weight.  I no longer use the scales, daily.  Most days, I don’t even think about my weight.  I am far more interested in the number of times I used the stairs, rather than the elevator, or walked from a parking lot space, rather than being dropped at the door.  I am making progress in all the right ways this time, and the change in my mood is near-amazing.

No more stress, or self-denigration, or near-bipolar swings from celebration to mourning about my progress, or lack thereof.  I start down the stairs first thing in the morning, and walk out into another day of — dare I say it? — my healthier life.

An old summer friend

An old, familiar friend has found me again this summer.  May I introduce you to my summer cold?

I get summer colds every year, regularly as clockwork, usually in mid-June.  I am almost positive they are set off by pine pollen, which turns the whole world a powdery yellow.  Cars, clothes, grass, leaves, even people are dusted with enormous amounts of the stuff, and I expect it a couple of weeks before it starts.  But I take so many meds, I am uncomfortable adding a decongestant to the mix. Continue reading

Humans, heal ourselves

This quote appeared on Abraham-Hicks’ Daily Law of Attraction affirmations.  

Someone asked us recently, “Is there any limitation to the body’s ability to heal?” And we said, “None other than the belief that you hold.” And he said, “Then why aren’t people growing new limbs?” And we said, “Because no one believes that they can.”

— Abraham
Excerpted from the workshop in San Rafael, CA on Saturday, February 27th, 1999

What a poignant, obvious answer.

I am further convinced, daily, that we can do anything we concentrate on and want enough.  Maybe not all at once — probably not all at once — but that positivity opens us to what we desire.  As the Law of Attraction states, that which is like itself is called.  As simple and as complicated as that.

I experienced a terrific example of this quote recently, after I fell and pretty well mashed the head of my tibia.  First, a little background.  Throughout my adult life, I have experienced almost uncountable opportunities to heal.  I experienced no end of side effects from surgery — to the point that, when my eye surgeon started to give me the list of potential hazards following cataract surgery, I put my fingers in my ears and said, “La, la, la, la,” until he was finished.  (I told him earlier that I’d be doing that, so no surprises.)  For my earlier reactions to such info, see here.

This time, I was knocked out or in shock, so much so that I didn’t hear the list.  Now I did experience problems in the hospital, in the week following the surgery, but they were diabetes- and kidney-related.  By the time I got to rehab, I felt an overwhelming desire to heal, quickly, for the first time in my life.  Add to that the extremely positive nature of the rehab itself, and I walked almost immediately, put away the walker the first week I was home, and never did use the four-wheeled walker with the seat, which therapists so wanted me to use.

I healed so quickly because I wanted to heal.  I opened myself to the possibility of getting well again, quickly, and so I did.  In addition, I began exercising regularly before the surgery, also due to good feeling.  I was stronger and healthier and more in shape than I’ve been in too many years to count.  So, twice the Law of Attraction helped me improve my life, visibly and virtually immediately.

I’ve depended on this power for a couple of years, now, and even the unhappy moments in my life are better as a result.  All of this change for the better, because I decided I wanted to be happy, and kept believing while it happened.

So can we grow new limbs?  Scientists are well along in research to do just that, and the general welcoming desire of the world for safer, healthier life is behind that and all medical breakthroughs of our time.  Can anyone change the direction of his or her life in this way?  Yes.  It will likely take time and dedication, but the first step is to want to be healthier, happier, more in love, richer — anything we want we can have.

In the same way, if we think only of what’s wrong, of sadness and misery and the unfairness of life, we draw those qualities to ourselves.  The universe believes that we want whatever we concentrate on, so it works both ways.  Read here and here for a more detailed description of how this works.  We can begin by identifying what we want.  Then, if we can find one tiny part of ourselves to feel good about, we open our lives to the power of human hearts to change and improve our circumstances.  From there, anything is possible.