A New Home Phone

Here I sit, on a Friday afternoon, programming numbers into my new home phone phonebook.  And who in the world would ever think I had so many numbers to enter?

My family was first, of course — I know all those numbers by heart, but if I can dial with a button, why not?  Next, I entered Coastal Trans, Community Dental, DHHS, and all of my many doctors’ office numbers.  I have listed ten so far, and I know I’m forgetting somebody.  But instead of hunting for numbers, either in a phonebook or Google, again, one button makes the call.  I love my new phone!

I have dozens of other numbers to add, but I stopped because I had a thought — I have more friends in my computer Address Book than I remembered, by far.  The thing is, many of them are a part of the walking group in which I particpate in spring, summer, and fall.  I think they are all hibernating now, but soon, we’ll have warm enough days to get out and walk.  Good for my body, and very good for my spirit.

I think I’ve been thinking about the friend thing a little compulsively — all of these women, and some men, are my friends, whether I see them every day, or only two or three times out of the year.  I was feeling a little sorry for myself — most of my friends disappeared, although there are a few I’ve seen frequently through the winter, including G. and E., who still pick me up for knitting circle once a week, and give me rides to work, (thank you, G. and E.  Love you two.)  I saw my friend D. this last week, and we had a very nice, albeit short, reunion, as she has been traveling.

So I’ve decided to stop worrying so hard about whether or not my friends will remain friends.  I’ve felt left out for a good chunk of my life, and always found it hard to trust that anyone who said anything nice could possibly mean it, or that they would not turn around and do something awful.  Well, this is one characteristic of my inner child which I can address immediately.  By loving myself, and trusting myself, I will learn to trust that others are not going to disappear from my life.  I keep in mind a quote I put on my home page today:  “Caring for your inner child has a powerful and surprisingly quick result:  Do it, and the child heals.”    Thanks, Martha Beck.  Very good advice.